Thursday, October 24, 2013

Dear Prudence …item 2.. Forget parties, look to your classes to make friends (Sep. 2, 2013) …item 3.. ‘Don’t drink if you don’t want to get raped’ (17 October 2013) …

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Dear Prudence …item 2.. Forget parties, look to your classes to make friends (Sep. 2, 2013) …item 3.. ‘Don’t drink if you don’t want to get raped’ (17 October 2013) …

Want Sep. raped Prudence parties October Look friends Forget drink Dont Dear classes 2013 ...item Dear Prudence ...item 2.. Forget parties, look to your classes to make friends (Sep. 2, 2013) ...item 3.. Dont drink if you dont want to get raped (17 October 2013) ...



Image by marsmet526

Emily Yoffe, Slate’s Dear Prudence advice columnist, proposed an age-old entreaty to women on Wednesday: Don’t drink if you don’t want to get raped.


The 58-year-old journalist, whose own teenager daughter is heading off to college next year, argues that parents, schools, and sexual assault prevention experts can help to bring down the number of rape victims by telling young women to stop drinking alcohol.

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…….*****All images are copyrighted by their respective authors ……..

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… message header for item 2. Forget parties, look to your classes to make friends


So while it might be more common to go to parties to make friends, my sleeper pick of this year’s fantasy-friendship draft at the college level is definitely friendships made in classes. Your best friend in-waiting may be sitting next to you in class this very day, but if no one takes that first step, everyone misses out. Don’t let that be you.

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… marsmet491 photo … the world … FSU News – Coverage of rape evidence a problem — Poppy Harlow waxed on (6:46 PM, Mar. 20, 2013) …item 3a / 3b.. Anonymous 2013 Steubenville Rape Case — What if this was your daughter? (Published on Jan 6, 2013) …


www.flickr.com/photos/71902107@N03/8576126749/in/photostream

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… marsmet491 photostream … Page 1


www.flickr.com/photos/71902107@N03/?details=1

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…..item 1a)…. Siouxsie and the Banshees … From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia


en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Siouxsie_and_the_Banshees


Siouxsie and the Banshees were an English rock band formed in London in 1976 by vocalist Siouxsie Sioux and bass guitarist Steven Severin. Initially associated with the English punk rock scene, the band rapidly evolved to create "a form of post-punk discord full of daring rhythmic and sonic experimentation&q


Their music combined elements of pop and avant-garde. The Banshees also became inspirational in the creation of the gothic rock genre. They disbanded in 1996, with Siouxsie and drummer Budgie continuing to record music as The Creatures, a second band they had formed in the early 1980s. In 2004, Siouxsie began a solo career.

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….item 1b)…. youtube video … Siouxsie & the Banshees – Kiss Them For Me [480p] … 4:14 minutes …


www.youtube.com/watch?v=6I3S8lPM6qM


HQrip


Uploaded on Sep 7, 2010

It seems YouTube doesn’t have a decent version of this, so here it is.


Category

Music


License

Standard YouTube License

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– Mark Grago 2 weeks ago

Siouxsie Sioux is enchantingly sensual in this video! She is so hot!

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– pozjetsfan1 9 hours ago

Siouxsie never got the credit she deserved for being as hot as she was.and The Banshees were a great band.

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– Jürgen Stadler 1 day ago

Eine der interessantesten Frauen der Welt!Neben Isabella Rosselini!

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– Mitchell Leary 4 days ago

This woman actually got better looking with age. She’s about 30 in this video and now in her mid 50′s and I think she’s drop dead gorgeous. I’ve never quite understood the native american sioux reference if she’s from the uk– or does it mean anything at all? Whatever the case she sure is beautiful.

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– Defenseman61913 6 days ago

You do realize this is from 1991

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– deadeye 1 week ago

I agree with Cory, excellent music from the 80s into the 90s. Something went wrong musically around the turn of the century…

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– waterfallsandrain 1 week ago

This sounds as fresh today as it did on first release, the hallmark of a solid and good song. Timeless. Great video, too.

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…..item 1c)…. youtube video … Siouxsie And The Banshees – The Best Of (Full Album) … 57:13 minutes …


www.youtube.com/watch?v=HBtB5NW56DY


saulcdr

Published on Jun 17, 2013


01.- Dear Prudence – 00:00

02.- Hong Kong Garden – 03:50

03.- Cities In Dust – 06:45

04.- Peek A Boo – 10:49

05.- Happy House – 14:00


06.- Kiss Them For Me – 17:52

07.- Face To Face – 22:16

08.- Dizzy – 26:38

09.- Israel – 29:49


10.- Christine – 34:44

11.- Spellbound – 37:44

12.- Stargazer – 41:02

13.- Arabian Knights – 44:20

14.- The Kilkling Jar – 47:28

15.- The Wheel’s On Fire – 51:28


Category

Music


License

Standard YouTube License

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…..item 2)…. Forget parties, look to your classes to make friends …


… FSU News … www.fsunews.com/


The potential friend may be sitting just a row away


Sep. 2, 2013 |


Written by

Adrian Chamberlin

Senior Staff Writer


FILED UNDER

FSU News

FSU News Adrian Chamberlin


www.fsunews.com/article/20130903/FSVIEW0303/130902006/For…


If someone had told me ten years ago that I would one day be writing about how easy it is to make friends in classes at college, I probably would have spat out some sarcastic remark about how insane that is and brushed them off. Fortunately, ten-year-old me was dead wrong on this, because I’ve not only found it quite easy to make friends in my classes, but I’ve also found it quite helpful.


Recently, I wrote about how sitting in the front row of classes is the best way to succeed, and not long before that I argued that college is really about finding yourself. Making friends in classes can help accomplish both those things, which I obviously see as key to having a successful college experience.


Before I talk about the usefulness of friends, it’s worth mentioning that it is suspiciously easy to make short, or even long, term friends in classes. Step one is making yourself available, and I don’t mean by wearing provocative clothing or hitting on people. I’m talking about not doing anything that puts up a wall against any conversation before it can even start. For me, that would usually be reading before class starts, though most people would probably find that their laptops or smart phones are to blame.


When that pre-existing wall is down, conversation will strike up organically more often than not, though it does help to have a couple people in the class with some sort of prior relationship. I’ve seen plenty of instances where the small talk of two people who have even the most superficial of relationships ropes in other would-be strangers and ends up leaving everyone feeling a little more connected.


And when I say I have seen plenty of instances of that, I mean as both the would-be stranger and one of the two people who start the conversation. I really believe most students, at least at FSU, like connecting with one another during classes, and the proof is in the ease with which those connections can form.


Some of those connections can even outlast the class that bred them. I have friends now who, a year ago, were just strangers sitting around me in a class. Even if some of those friendships end up fading away soon after graduation, the impact they made will be remembered.


I don’t just mean the sentimental impact either. Making friends with people in classes comes in handy on group assignments and for better understanding the material. Where the professor’s lecture can sometimes come across like jargon or the incomprehensible rambling of the teacher in Charlie Brown, the mutual review between friends in a class can be refreshing and helpful. That, and I find the best relationships between people are those that encourage each person to grow and improve each day. Experience has shown me that the right friendships in classes do just that.


So while it might be more common to go to parties to make friends, my sleeper pick of this year’s fantasy-friendship draft at the college level is definitely friendships made in classes. Your best friend in-waiting may be sitting next to you in class this very day, but if no one takes that first step, everyone misses out. Don’t let that be you.

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…..item 3)…. ‘Don’t drink if you don’t want to get raped’: Female advice columnist causes backlash with controversial opinion on how to prevent sexual assault …


… Mail Online – Daily Mail … www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/


By OLIVIA FLEMING

PUBLISHED: 12:25 EST, 17 October 2013 | UPDATED: 13:00 EST, 17 October 2013


www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2465278/Dont-drink-don…


Emily Yoffe, Slate’s Dear Prudence advice columnist, proposed an age-old entreaty to women on Wednesday: Don’t drink if you don’t want to get raped.


The 58-year-old journalist, whose own teenager daughter is heading off to college next year, argues that parents, schools, and sexual assault prevention experts can help to bring down the number of rape victims by telling young women to stop drinking alcohol.

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img code photo … Emily Yoffe, Slate’s Dear Prudence advice columnist


i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/10/17/article-2465278-18CDD8…


Emily Yoffe, Slate’s Dear Prudence advice columnist, proposed an age-old entreaty to women: Don’t drink if you don’t want to get raped


Emily Yoffe


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But young women, young men and victim services experts strongly disagree. Many have labeled Ms Yoffe’s article as ‘offensive and damaging,’ while others believe that analyzing the actions of the victim, rather than the attacker, sends a message that rape is excusable.


‘A common denominator in these cases is alcohol, often copious amounts, enough to render the young woman incapacitated,’ writes Ms Yoffe. ‘We are failing to let women know that when they render themselves defenseless, terrible things can be done to them.’


The Atlantic Wire’s Alexander Abad-Santos quickly pointed out that there is only one common factor in the rape of college women: rapists.


‘Yoffe’s point doesn’t come from a bad place — she wants to see less women raped. That’s a good intention, which the overwhelming majority of Americans share,’ writes Mr Abad-Santos. ‘[But] it’s like telling people not to drive late at night because they might die at the hands of a drunk driver — these people aren’t breaking the law, yet they’re the ones being targeted and asked to compromise their lives. What about teaching men not to rape?’

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More…


… ‘May you rot in hell for all eternity’: 74-year-old woman tells man sentenced to 30 years for raping her as she bird watched in Central Park

… Prosecutor reopens Maryville rape case and calls for special investigator to review evidence after national outrage over dropped charges

… #ihatedaisy, hope she gets what’s comin’: The vile Twitter abuse that drove girl at center of Maryville rape scandal to try and kill herself twice


Ms Yoffe backs up her column with several studies, one being a 2009 study of campus sexual assault, which found that almost 20per cent of college women will become victims of rape, overwhelmingly by a fellow classmate. The same study states that more than 80per cent of campus sexual assaults involve alcohol.


But this, according to Thomas MacAulay Millar from Yes Means Yes, Visions of Female Sexual Power and a World Without Rape, focuses on treating the symptom, instead of looking for ways to treat the disease — the repeat rapists and the social constructs that allow them to get away with it.


‘Rape is a societal problem, not a self-help issue’


‘She gives up on catching and punishing them, in favor of telling women that they can’t do something that men take for granted the right to do,’ he writes.


Emma Gray, editor of Huffington Post Women, agrees. ‘Have we lost so much faith in our male population that instead of publishing columns telling young men to stop raping tipsy women — or encouraging the expansion of programs on college campuses that work to educate students about such matters and prevent sexual assault — some of us believe it is most effective to tell women not to drink at all?’ she asks.


‘We need to place the burden of blame for these assaults squarely where it belongs — on the shoulder of those individuals who choose to commit them.’

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img code photo … drunk


i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/10/17/article-2465278-18CDD9…


Young women, men, and victim services experts strongly disagree with Ms Yoffe’s column, labeling it as ‘offensive and damaging’


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Jezebel’s Erin Gloria Ryan weighed in on the subject, concluding that ‘we’re all pretty tired of the "ladies be getting themselves raped" trope.’ Echoing previous sentiments, she added that Ms Yoffe ‘doesn’t seem to understand that while alcohol plays a role in many sexual assaults, there’s only one element that plays a role in all sexual assaults: a rapist.’


Meanwhile Lori Adelman pointed out at Feministing that Ms Yoffe has, multiple times, used her Dear Prudence column as a platform to scold women who were sexually assaulted after drinking.


Certainly, binge drinking should not been seen as a way for young women to assert independence and liberation, but Ms Yoffe’s argument has been called out for being counteractive to the liberated ideal that a woman should be free to do as she pleases, without suffering ill-effects.


‘This false idea, that women’s behavior is the real reason they are victimized — and that we live in a society that does a poor job of policing such behavior — is regularly used to blame sexual violence on the “problem” of young women today,’ writes Salon’s associate editor, Katie McDonough in an article titled ‘Sorry, Emily Yoffe: Blaming assault on women’s drinking is wrong, dangerous and tired.’


‘Find and punish the perpetrators instead of warning their huge number of potential victims to skip out on parties’


Newsweek’s Katie Baker, who labeled Ms Yoffe’s argument as ‘offensive and damaging to victims,’ also emphasized that ‘our culture is swimming with examples of women — in movies, television and real life — who are “punished” for their “bad choices” with sexual violence.


‘“Bad choices” include wearing a short skirt, staying out too late, getting too drunk, trusting too much. The list of reasons that Americans believe women deserve rape is long.


It is well known, as Ms Yoffe documents, that heavily intoxicated women are more likely to be sexually assaulted, but some medical advisers who can ‘see where Ms Yoffe is coming from,’ also believe that women who choose to perform consensual sexual acts with men often use alcohol as a psychic lubricant — putting them at a heightened risk of being taken advantage of by predators.


‘If they are true predators they will choose victims who are less likely to be consciously aware of what is happening,’ argues New York-based psychotherapist and life coach, Stuart Schneiderman.


Ms Yoffee cites how researchers Abbey and David Lisak have explored how these men use alcohol, instead of violence, to commit their crimes — offenders who can be ‘campus leaders, charming and well liked — something that comes in handy if they are accused of anything.’


‘They work our mythology against us,’ Peter Lake, the director of the Center for Excellence in Higher Education Law and Policy at Stetson University College of Law, told Ms Yoffe. ‘We would like to see our daughters hang out with nice boys in navy blue blazers.’


But this argument, like that of many legislators, ultimately tell victims it is their responsibility not to get raped.


Jennifer Marsh, vice president of victim services at the Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network, America’s largest anti-sexual violence organization, said it is ‘ineffective and harmful’ to offer advice that suggests there are specific steps one can take to avoid being sexually assaulted.


Ms Yoffe’s column ‘sends the message that if you don’t drink, you won’t be raped, which is obviously not the case,’ Ms Marsh told Newsweek. ‘Unfortunately, there’s no surefire way to prevent sexual assault. [Rape] can take place anywhere, at any time. It’s not just in a fraternity bedroom after a party.’ And it can happen to women who are sober, too.


Even Slate’s own Amanda Hess addressed her colleague’s story, asking that next time she focus on the rapists, not the victims.


‘Rape is a societal problem, not a self-help issue,’ she said. ‘Parents can tell their own daughters not to get drunk, but even if those women follow instructions, it won’t keep other people’s daughters safe. It will just force campus rapists who rely on alcohol to execute their crimes to find other targets.’


Though she agrees with Ms Yoffe that excessive alcohol consumption is a problem on college campuses, Miss Hess believes singling out one gender of drinkers for alcohol education is ‘counter-productive.’


She explained: ‘We can prevent the most rapes on campus by putting our efforts toward finding and punishing those perpetrators, not by warning their huge number of potential victims to skip out on parties.


‘Colleges can start changing those structures by refusing to put the onus on victims to prevent their own assaults and instead holding perpetrators accountable for the crimes they commit—often, while drunk.’


The life coach, Mr Schneiderman, believes encouraging women to drink less is an ‘oversimplification’ of the crime of sexual assault.


‘Why not try to change the culture so that men are encouraged to demonstrate more respect for women?’ he asked.

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Read more:


… Sorry, Emily Yoffe: Blaming assault on women’s drinking is wrong, dangerous and tired

… To Prevent Rape on College Campuses, Focus on the Rapists, Not the Victims

… Dear Prudence columnist publishes rape denialism manifesto advising women to ‘stop getting drunk’

… How To Write About Rape Prevention Without Sounding Like An Asshole

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… No. 1 Surefire Rape Prevention Tip For Ladies: Don’t Exist

… What Slate Got So Wrong About College Women And Sexual Assault

… Emily Yoffe’s Rape Apologism: Some Very Quick Thoughts

… Slate Forgot That the One Common Factor in Rapes Are Rapists

… The Best Rape Prevention: Tell College Women to Stop Getting So Wasted

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